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                  the

JOHN TOM@C

(MTB CH@MP)                                                      

                                       s@g@

 

 

 

B@sed on true life electronic m@il correspondence.

 

@ story about love and h@te. w@r and pe@ce. mount@in bikers and Jedis.

@bout fightin' for wh@t you believe in.

 

                                                the

Ch@r@cters

 

 

All ch@r@cters are 100% non-fiction@l.

 

Starring

(in alphabetical order)

 

Angel      Mizzi Ice Wax

Baby Dave    The Young Jedi

Daniel           OneTrackLiner Man

Davy                          John Tomac Agent No. 1

Jaws       The Little Weasel

Keith                   John Tomac Agent No. 2

Ling       Sotong PeaceMaker

Max        Extreme Biker Dude

Melanie      "Husdand" Support Group

Paul                     The All-Singaporean

Sportsman

Phi Le     Emoti-conman

(some call him "VC")

Roh                 Fillet Analyst

 

Supporting Cast

(again…in alphabetical order)

 

Avelini, Brinjal, Chuckie, Colin, David, Elaine, Martha, Shikming, SzeKuan, Vee and the Dugong-Jedi Council Members

as the "cc" club members


 

                                              the

Story

 

 

Wednesday, 5 May 1999

Subject : John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

From                      :               Davy

To                           :               Ling
Cc                           :              

Time                      :               01:12 PM
Message             :               John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Ling,


Any of your MTB members interested in getting a John Tomac's signature giant pin-up poster for the bedroom?

Davy Koh"


 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Davy
Cc         :   

Time       :    2:13 PM
Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

"Sorry ah Uncle, Who is John Tomac?

I blur lah!!!

Ling the Sotong"

************************************************************************

Thursday, 6 May 1999

Subject : John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

From                      :               Davy

To                           :               Ling

Cc                           :
Time                      :               5:04 AM

Message             :               John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

 

 

 

 

"One of the best all time mountain bike champion that you mountain bikers should know about!"

 

 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Davy
Cc         :    Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Keith, Melanie; Phi Le; Martha;

                Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Jaws; Chuckie;

                SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time       :    8:55 AM

Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters


"Ok, only if he looks "cool"! Boys and girls, any takers????"

************************************************************************

 

From     :   Phi Le

To       :   Davy; Ling
cc.      :   Brinjal, Baby Dave; Avelini; Keith; Melanie; Martha;

             Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Jaws; Chuckie;

             SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time     :   4:36 AM (US time)

Message      :   John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters


"John Tomac is kinda old for these youngsters, doesn't it ? Besides, 'real' mountain bikers in Singapore or more like 'concrete' mountain bikers?
:-)

************************************************************************

Monday, 10 May 1999

Subject : John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

From        :     Jaws

To          :     Phi Le; Davy; Ling
 cc.        :     Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Keith, Melanie; Martha;

                  Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

                  SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time        :     7:08 AM

Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

sometime is better to mind your own business!!!!

i'm not a "CONCRETE MOUNTAIN BIKERS" how about you guys ?????

jaws

 

************************************************************************

 

From                :           Keith

To                    :           Jaws; Phi Le; Davy; Ling
 cc.                   :           Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                                    Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

                                    SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time                :           10:54 AM

Message            :           John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Jaws, you are absolutely right! I guess Phi Le, who said the thing about "CONCRETE MOUNTAIN BIKERS" obviously does not know what he/she(?) is talking about. He/She is riding, if at all, with the wrong group.

 


Phi Le needs to join Max and his group of XBDs (eXtreme Biker Dudes/Dudettes) for a taste of real mountain biking!

 

(On second thoughts, maybe not!)

You don't need mountains, just gnarly trails!!

Anyway, Johnny T might be "old", but he still rules in the downhill and dual slalom! All you need to do is look at the results. He was 3rd in the last race at the Sea Otter Classic. Also, his new range of bikes are to die for!

 

Who else can say that he races, and wins, on his own bikes??"

 

 

************************************************************************

 

From      :    Max

To        :    Jaws; Keith
 cc.      :    Phi Le; Davy; Ling

Brinjal; Baby Dave; Avelini; Melanie; Martha;

              Vincente; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

              SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time      :    12:55 PM

Message   :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"WHAT KIND OF STUPID NAME IS PHI LE, anyway!?!?

 

I dont wanna no moron with that kinda name in my league..go join some faggotty-panzzy group of what ever you wanna be...But I do wanna see this DICKWEED, face to face,and say it in front of me.

You know who I am!!!"

************************************************************************

 

From                :           Keith

To                    :           Max
cc.                    :           Phi Le; Jaws; Davy; Ling

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                                    Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

                                    SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time                :           1:54 PM

Message            :           John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Whao!! Now, now Max, calm down. Take a few snorts of Ice Wax and CHILL!

.... But, I would love to be there to watch, so do keep the rest of us informed if this meeting ever takes place!"

 

************************************************************************

 

From           :         Roh

To               :         Max
cc.               :         Keith; Phi Le; Jaws; Davy; Ling

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                             Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                             SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time            :         2:10 PM
Message              :         John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Whoa, Dudes, I see we've escalated to DEFCON 4 already.

 

Everybody step back, take a deep breath, think nice thoughts, before we go to full-scale thermonuclear destruction.

 

                              Biking is a happy sport, remember?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We've come quite a long way from talking about posters!

RS"

************************************************************************

 

From        :     Melanie

To          :     Roh; Jaws; Keith; Max
 cc.        :     Phi Le; Davy; Ling

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Martha;

                  Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                  SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time        :     8:56 PM

Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters     


"i agree...Mel"

 

************************************************************************

 

 

 

Meanwhile, on a parallel plane of discussion

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Keith
 cc.       :    Max; Phi Le; Jaws; Davy

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

                SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time       :    14:41PM

Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters


"Hello there!!!

 

Trust me (or Davy?!?!?) to start WW3VEM (World War Three Via Electronic Mail) by sending out a simple e-mail asking if anyone ("he" or "she") wants a poster of a cool biker dude! That's totally uncool dudes and dudettes!!!

 

Make love, not war, promote peace, not disease!!! Ok, when's the big fight?!?!?! ;)

ps ok, everyone, let's call it quits, will ya? On behalf of the relevant persons, apologies are given and accepted!!! Signed, sealed and delivered!!!"

************************************************************************

 

From          :        Daniel

To             :        Ling
Time            :        2:56 PM
cc.              :

Message       :        John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters


"well done, diplomacy may be your calling. ;)"

 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Angel

To         :    Ling;
 cc.       :    Keith; Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Phi Le; Martha;

                Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time       :    3:46:20 PM
Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"GOOD ON YOU LING!!!

Angel"

************************************************************************

 

From                      :               Davy

To                           :               Ling; Keith;
 cc.                         :               Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                                                Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                                                SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time                      :               03:46:20 PM
Message             :               John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Hey!! Take it easy and relax, buddies!!
See this to calm yourself and we shake hands.

[Newsflash : Now, this picture was the only picture sent over the net]…

 

 

 

 

Not now kid... can't you see that I'm busy!!

 

Come next time to see more kangaroos!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Davy"

************************************************************************

 

From                :           Keith

To                    :           Ling
cc.                    :           Angel; Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                                    Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                                    SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time                :           03:55:29 PM
Message          :           John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

 

 

 

"Hi Ling,

I don't think it was you or Davy that started this. I totally agree that it was just a simple email about some posters, but someone had to try to be smart and say something totally uncalled for, to incite all this. There is only one person to blame for all this, and I think he (the gender is correct, I gather), and everyone else, knows who I am talking about!

Love & peace

Keith"

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Keith
 cc.       :    Angel; Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time       :    4:16 PM
Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Score Update

(a) +1 point to Davy for the kind offer of poster boy.

(b) -1 point to Ling for not having not evaluating the consequences of putting a bull shark into a pirahna tank (give up on my cybergroupy hobby)

(c) -2 points to Phi (Fillet) for not minding his own business and making smart ass comments about John and Singapore bikers to as bunch of strangers, even though he meant it as a joke. Donch ya know such language is offensive, young man??? Tsk tsk tsk!!!

(d) +2 points to Keith for his fair comment about Singapore bikers and enlightening us with Tomac's history!!!

(e) +1 point to Jaws for defending himself but -1 for assuming Fillet was directing the comment at him!!!

(f) +1 point to Max as co-defender of his fellow biker dudes. -1 point for the provoked language.

That brings us back to GERO! GAME OVER!!!!!

 

Ok, I'll keep the poster for myself!!!"

 

************************************************************************

 

From        :     Melanie

To          :     Ling; Keith;
cc.         :     Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Martha;

                  Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                  SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time        :     8:57 PM

Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters     


" i'm with you Ling. Mel"

************************************************************************

 

From               :           Keith

To                   :           Ling
 cc.                   :           Angel; Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                                    Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                                    SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time               :           After 4:16 PM
Message           :           John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"OK, OK, let's call it quits. I must say that this whole thing has managed to keep me very much amused this Monday, especially after the not so hot diving weekend!

 (By that I mean the actual diving conditions. The company, however, was great!)

Ride on!! or perhaps On! On!"

 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Angel

To         :    Keith; Ling
cc.        :    Angel; Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

                SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time       :    04:49 PM
Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"I agree, the company was great and sure made up for the diving and bad weather.

Angel"

************************************************************************

 

 

From      :    Max

To        :    All
cc.       :    Ling; Angel; Phi Le; Davy; Roh; Jaws; Max

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

              Vincente; ShikMing; David; Elaine; Chuckie;

              SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time      :    4:56 PM
Message   :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Just made one reply & whole list of mails comes rolling in.

 

Anyway, enough of this talk-da-talk behind the keyboard business. I'm going to cancel all my appointments today & have lunch @ Dive X-plorers hoping to get a plate of that delicious chicken..

 

Davy, if its not to late,I would like to grab my hands on those posters too....say, 12.30?????

************************************************************************

 

From        :     Melanie

To          :     Keith; Max
cc.         :     Phi Le; Jaws; Davy; Ling

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie; Martha;

                  Vincente; Max; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

                  SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time        :     8:21 PM

Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters


"Get ready for some interesting email when my husband, Phi Le, returns tonight.

Melanie Le"

                             

 

************************************************************************

 

 

 

 

 

         

 

 

 

Attempts at Peacemaking

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Melanie
cc.        :

Time       :    02:30 PM
 Message   :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Hi Mel,

Hope you're not upset about this! It's all this tostesterone flying around the air lately! Q is : what will Phi do?!?!? Hmmmm.....strange, especially since none of them have met him!!!

Ling"

************************************************************************

 

From        :     Melanie

To          :     Ling
 Cc         :     Phi Le
Time        :     9:09 PM
Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"No worries, Ling.  I really don't know if Phi will jump on this or not. But, I know he just said that other stuff as a joke. He really likes to have fun. I'm cool. Really, no worries here. :)

 

We like mountain biking in Singapore.

 

I'm a little surprised with Jaws, because I think Phi said this a while ago. No one really got mad until he sent the email. Jaws knows Phi and I really well. He and Phi pick around with each other all the time.  He has been to our house on several accasions. Don't know what happened here. :)

Phi is coming home from the USA right now. You are a really good friend. :)
We intend on keeping that way. :)

 

Have a good one.

 

Mel"

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Melanie
Cc         :    Phi Le
Time       :    9:09 PM
Message    :    John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Thks for your e-mail, Mel!

I guess the comment struck a softspot not only for Jaws but for the other bikers e.g. Max, who has been training everyday for his MTB race - and Keith, whose been competing for the longest time!

 

Rather insensitive thing to say for a bunch of sensitive new age men - yes, I'm talking to you, Phi - the troublemaker!!!!!! Tsk tsk tsk! Thought the name thingy was rather funny actually - Mr Fillet!!!

These guys take their sport seriously - and so do you I assume, so the comment was rather uncalled for, I agree, even if it were meant as a joke!  Guess you didn't get that figured out til now, huh?

I've learnt that a man's ego is not to be bruised - actually, correction - even a woman's! If someone made a similar comment about divers in Singapore which was directed at me, notwithstanding that it was unintentional, I'd retaliate, although maybe not in such strong a tone!!!

Well, not asking for forced apologies etc. but it wouldn't hurt to clarify the air from the horses' mouth himself, especially when the e-mail was sent to 1/2 of Singapore!!!  It's really up to you guys!!! I'm but a mere poster girl! ;)

Ling

ps Motto for the day : Don't E-mail! It can kill!!! :)"

 

E-mail 

 

 

 

 

 

 


************************************************************************

 

 

 

My Husdand's Back and You're Gonna Get into Trouble

 

From     :   Phi Le

To       :   Max
cc.      :   Jaws; Keith Davy; Ling

Brinjal, Baby Dave, Avelini, Melanie & Phi; Phi Le; Martha;

             Vincente; ShikMing; David; Roh; Elaine; Chuckie;

             SzeKuan; Colin; Daniel; Paul; Vee; Angel

Time     :   12:55 PM
Message      :   John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Guys and gals,

I have just gotten back in town, so this is the first opportunity I have to reply to your e-mails. For those of you who are a tad humor-deficient, it was meant only as a JOKE. It was even punctuated with an emoticon of a smily face for the dry-humor individuals. Having said that, this is not an apologize since no bad malice was intended.

 

Like someone already suggested, take a chill pill, snort your ice wax or whatever you do...

Since I know Jaws and we kid a lot, I will assume that he meant likewise.

As for Max and Keith, I see that you guys are very defensive and taking it very personal. Having never met you two, I could only assume that kind of reaction stemmed from lack of ... ? From my experience watching Jerry Springer / Ricky Lake / Jeraldo shows, people who are unsure about their sexual preferences are very homophobic (i.e. calling others fagot, etc.)...

:-) <<<--- notice the smily face!

 

And Max, you are wrong, I wouldn't recognize you from a rat's ass on the street. What's a dickweed anyway ? Is it something you 'smoke' Max ?

This is gotten out of hand, so I won't carry it out any further to not waste everybody's time - including mine, but if anyone really want to say anything in person to me instead of the usual position behind the keyboard, let me know.

 

Jaws knows where I live, so come over for a drink and 'talk'."

************************************************************************

 

Tuesday, 11 May 1999

Subject : John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

From           :         Roh

To               :         Max; Phi Le; Angel
cc.               :         Davy; Ling; Melanie; ShikMing; Paul; Jaws

Time            :         9:45 AM
Message              :         John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters  

 

"I've cut down the CC list as I would like to direct my comments to only the relevant parties, as it should have been in the first place.

Phi, don't kid yourself about not wanting to take it any further. You claim that you want things to cool down, but you can't resist the broadsides re: your third paragraph. I don't care how many cute faces/emoticons/whatever you call it you put on your e-mail. That's like saying "F*** You, but I mean that in the nicest possible way".

Look, I'm not saying that there was no over-reaction to your initial comments. And I do recognise that some of the reactions were rather aggressive. But please realise that there are jokes, and then there are bad jokes.

However, you also said that apologies for this will not be forthcoming from you because by your argument there was no malice intended. Well, apologies are for when you inadvertently offend someone. If there was malice intended, no amount of saying sorry would make a difference because it would be insincere, don't you think?

BTW, refer to some of the recent e-mails. I ain't so sure that Jaws is in your corner.


Max-o, are those identifiable as fighting words that I saw in your last e-mail? Cut down on the aggro factor and chill. We'll talk at dive x-plo later.

Everyone, ain't this gone far enough? Can I speak for everyone and apologise all around for this unsavory saga? Can we end it? Can peace prevail throughout the galaxy?

"We are the world....., we are the children......etc etc"

 

************************************************************************

 

From     :   Phi Le

To       :   Roh
 cc.     :   Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; Melanie; ShikMing; Paul; Jaws

Time     :   10:41 PM

Message      :   John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Roh,

Thanks for your e-mail.

I guess my 'broadsides' was triggered by the natural defensive mechanism. If it offended anyone, I am sorry - it was meant to, 'in the nicest possible way' :-)

Anyway, I gather from the reactions that some members of your group are rather sensitive (IMHO), and see my joke as of bad taste. That's your (as a group) personal opinion, and as much as I respect it, I beg to differ. If the reaction was of an over-sensitive nature, at times an apology might be offered, but I doubt if any sincerity is present. Since everybody is so insistent on one, here goes... I AM SO SORRY! I hope peace is back in your volatile universe now...

BTW, I already noticed about Jaws. I will take care of the little weasel later :-)

 

                                                                 


Anything else I could do for you guys to stop this flow of hate mails as I do have work to attend to ?

Phi"

************************************************************************

 

From        :     Jaws

To          :     Phi Le; Roh; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; Melanie; ShikMing; Paul;

                  Jaws
cc.         :    

Time        :     08:06:43 AM

Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters     

 

":-o weasel :small flesh-eating mammal related to stoat and ferret.weasel
word:word that is intentionally ambiguous or misleading.

Jaws"

 

************************************************************************

 

 

From           :         Roh

To               :         Phi Le; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; Melanie; ShikMing; Paul; Jaws
cc.               :

Time            :         2:17 PM

Message              :         John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters  

 

"Making mountain (biking) out of molehills is tiring. I should be devoting my energy to more worthwhile things, such as battling the evil forces known as upper management. Fact is, I think we're all personally having a big laugh about how out of hand the whole thing became.

Until the next time (?). Emoticons seem to be the order of the day, so here goes: ;-)

 

End of story, and let peace pervade our simple lives once again.

Later

RS

************************************************************************

 

From        :     Melanie

To          :     Phi Le; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; ShikMing; Paul; Jaws …and

everyone else

cc.                                    :

Time        :     12:11 AM
Message     :     John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters     

 

"It's Melanie Le again. And yes, my husband can take up for himself. But there have been a few comments that have my blood boiling now. I usually do not ever reply to such things as this, but today I have made an exception:


Although the comment my hubby made may have seemed rude to some of you, it was meant as a joke. PURE AND SIMPLE!!!!!

 

Maybe it is a clash of cultures, I do not know.

 

Jaws is a good friend of ours and knows Phi and I very well. I am a little disappointed in you, Jaws, for making such a big deal. You and Phi make jokes with each other all the time.

 

Thank you for everyone who has tried to keep peace today. I am sorry if my comments disappoint any of our friends. But every now and then, a woman must speak her mind.
:)

Melanie Le"

************************************************************************

 

From                :           Keith

To                    :           Melanie; Roh; Phi Le; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; ShikMing; Paul; Jaws
cc.                    :          

Time                :           11:44 AM
Message            :           John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters      

 

"I understand how you feel. This is exactly what happened when your husband "jokingly" said those things about Singapore mountain bikers.

When you are passionate about something, whether it's mountain biking, diving, work, girl/boyfriend, wife/husband, etc., you're bound to get a strong reaction if someone says something derogatory about it, jokingly or not!Now I guess you know how some of us felt.

Anyway, let's end all this with some humour! (Sorry, not too good, but this is the only one I could find with such short notice!) ;-)


What a woman says:

"Listen to me. C'mon, This place is a mess! You and I need to clean up. Your stuff is lying on the floor and you'll have no clothes to wear if we don't do laundry right now!"

What the man hears:

"blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW"

************************************************************************

 

From     :   Phi Le

To       :   Keith; Melanie; Roh; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; ShikMing; Paul; Jaws
cc.      :

Time     :   12:25 PM
Message      :   John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters    

 

"Keith,

You mentioned passionate about something, thus strong reaction...The people who know me know that I am very passionate about X (a generic term used for discussion).

 

I live, breath, and dream about X. I could confidently tell you that

no one in Singapore is more passionate about X then I.

XSo I understand your passion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Yet when someone pokes fun about X, I don't react with a mouthful of derogatory terms and expect an apology - I am still at awe about this...

I start to mountainbike over 10 years ago, and I have ridden many places including Utah, Colorado, New Mexico, California and Texas - places where some of you only read about in magazines.

                                                                                                           

 

So when I was making a joke about the mountain biking in Singapore, I was subtly paying a compliment to the people who are dedicated enough to be able to pursuit this sport given the limited resources of the island.

What I say is you guys need to knock that chip off your shoulder, and be content with your abilities.

If you think you are good at what you are doing, there is nothing anyone could say or do to take that away from you. If you are not good enough, no matter how loud you scream profanities, you still suck...

Enough said on this matter, you won't heard anymore from me, I do have X to think about...

Phi"

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Wednesday, 12 May 1999
Subject : John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

From               :           Paul

To                    :           Phi Le; Keith; Melanie; Roh; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; ShikMing; Jaws

cc.                  :

Time                :           1:58 AM
Message        :           John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters

 

"Phi Le,

AN OVERT PASSIONATE RESPONSE SPEAKS BETTER OF A PERSON'S CHARACTER THAN SUBTLE CONDESCENDING REMARKS DISGUISED AS HUMOUR.

I've read all your remarks/replies and asked around about you. You have a serious complex.

Paul

Biked: Jalan Tua Kong, Lim Chu Kang Road, etc for the past 19 years.
Waterskied: Loyang canal, Yishun canal, etc for the past 7 years.
Dived: Labrador Park Beacon, S'pore Granite Quarry, etc for the past 7 years.
Canoed: TMCC canal, various Marine Parade drains, etc.
- places where most of you billion's of people around the universe HAVE NOT EVEN READ ABOUT in magazines."

 

************************************************************************

Same Day

Subject : Roll over and play dead...

************************************************************************

 

Heated E-mail Exchange between Phi Le and Angel (not available)

 

************************************************************************

 

From               :           Paul

To                    :           Ling; Angel; Phi Le; Keith; Melanie; Roh; Phi Le; Max; Davy; ShikMing;

Jaws

Cc;                  :

Time                :           01:58:39 AM  
Message        :           Roll over and play dead…

 

"Another 25 emails on this subject grace my inbox tonite. Why not let the disease proliferate?

Talk about "concrete" bikers - did you watch that CNN article on Excite Inc.? Apparently encourage room-to-room biking INSIDE their office! Oh, and one of the founders has a set of Zidjian cymbals in his office cos he plays for a band on the side. And his room is filled with Star Wars toys and Mr Potatohead.

 

                                                                

 

And most unimportantly, he launched the company 3 1/2 yrs ago.  IPOed in 1996. Now he's 27 years old and worth USD 50 million.

Compared to the 50 uncalled for emails I've received so far, this is a far better reason for me to say... FUCK!

(but at least he doesn't have a totally-misguided-irritatingly-condescending-superiority-complex-masked-behind-a-veil-of-so-called-humour like some people I've come to learn about recently (aka: asshole))

Paul"

************************************************************************

 

From     :   Phi Le

To       :   Paul; Keith; Melanie; Roh; Phi Le; Max; Angel; Davy; Ling; ShikMing; Jaws
cc.      :

Time     :   After 1:58 AM
Message      :   Roll over and play dead…

 

"Paul,

Between this and the other e-mail, you have managed to convey the messages of "f*** you" and "you are full of it" in the nicest possible way. I know when I am outmatched in subtle condescending remarks disguised as humor, especially when you guys resorted to the 'gang-bang' approach :-)

 I give up! "UNCLE!"

 I am glad you guys have me all figured out from my e-mails and talking to people who obviously have great love for me. I am sure that you have perfected this skill by frequently visiting Internet chat rooms where no doubt you could psycho-analyze each participant vividly and accurately. When it comes to superiority complex, I think you and your friends are much better judges on that, of course this is only based on what I've read so far.

Anyway, I am serious about giving up so please try to restrain from sending more hate mails."

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Angel

To         :    Phi Le; Paul; Keith; Melanie; Roh; Max; Davy; Ling; ShikMing; Jaws
Time       :    6:46 AM
Message    :    Roll over and play dead…

 

"okey!!! You, Phi, are officially removed from our mailing list as of NOW!

Ta ta! Ciao! Bye! Sayonara! Auf wiedersehen!

Angel"

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Ling

To         :    Angel; Phi Le; Paul; Keith; Melanie; Roh; Phi Le; Max; Davy;

ShikMing; Jaws

cc.        :

Time       :    9:29 AM   
Message    :    Roll over and play dead

 

The only good thing I can say about this is ...at least the subject heading has gone a long way since "John Tomac (MTB champ) Posters"...

Obviously we have come out of this exercise with flying colours in Sarcasm 101 and "How to Get the Most of a Smily Face :-)"...The result of a serious clash of opinions with a dash of unsolicited arrogance from certain characters whose paths should not have crossed in the first place, save for a friendly exchange of biking chatter.

Phi, your statement about "gang-banging" is totally unfounded - I can confidently say words ran at their own independent speed without any pacing or assurance from other supporting co-called henchmen! Each contributor's fingertips did their own talking, so I resent that statement, amongst others (which I have the good sense not to go into)!!!

As for everyone else, each person is entitled to their own opinion and if someone feels strongly about X or whatever, so be it! You can't force your views on someone else, no matter how objectively "right" you think you are. State your ground and leave it at that.

Alright boys and girls, I claim rights to having the last say since I put everyone in the same sinking ship!!! If I ever catch another e-mail from anyone on this subject, I'll PERSONALLY KILL YOU ALL!!!

************************************************************************

 

Same day In a galaxy not so far away

Subject : Jedi Council

 

 

                     

 

From      :    Max
To        :    Angel; Keith; Paul; Jaws; Davy; Daniel; ShikMing; Terence; Roh;

              Ling; Pauline; Paul K; Madame; Michelle Tan; Huilin; Baby Dave;

              Aveline; Colin K; Vee; Tomio; Terence

Cc        :

Time      :    3.22 am

Message   :    Jedi Council

"Wow Angel!

 

You're my hero. You sacred off that evil Darth Pee brain.

 

We have to reunite @ the JEDI CHAMBER COUNCIL on planet PANAGOPOULOUS, a short distance from the planet NABOO. We have to discuss on the coming JUNE 3rd premier of 'THE PHANTOM MENACE'& use our Jedi mind tricks to book the whole cinema to house 20 or more of our fellow JEDI'S. This will be the pre-millennium event next to the chicken that I didnt get to meet, i mean eat @ X-plorer's cafe.

 

Man, this pisses me off, first the mantas played hide & seek @ Aur over the weekend, now a VC chicken went missing....Ok,Ok i'll stop..but then if I give in,it only brings me to the DARK SIDE.

M-X-Jedi-B-D"

 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Angel

To         :    Max and Everyone
Time       :    11..46 pm
Message    :    Jedi Council

 

"Max, you're a true sweetie. How can anyone speak evil of you?! Will defend you against all evil to the very end.

Angel"

 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Baby Dave

To         :    Max and Everyone

Cc         :

Time       :    Sometime in the morning   
Message    :    Jedi Council

 

"Yo Max !

U know when u talk(sarcastic)like that......u really remind me of Letterman.

 

                                                               

 

We all love Letterman, don't we? Then again, we extreme mtn. bikers should juz hang loose and chill out......why stress ourselves over Tomac(& mtn. biking) bad-mouthing pricks when we can spend the time bombing down 265's sweet single track....don't u agree(Bet u do, Keith)? This shit is starting to piss me off 'cos its jamming up my mailbox, if u guys still have not caught the drift : PLS LEAVE MR. I-HATE-TOMAC ALONE ! Cut the prick some slack, ok?

I know this is none of my busines, but I just dun want u guys to waste your time replying to stupid, crappy hate-mails when u can spend it riding. I'm all for watching the "Phantom Menace" thingy, so keep me posted, ok?

Hang Loose......Real Loose,

Dave .

P.S. Anyone knows if Pulau Sibu in West Malaysia is any good?"

 

************************************************************************

 

From       :    Angel

To         :    Baby Dave and Everyone
Time       :    12.20 am
Message    :    Jedi Council

 

"Sure do!! A guy we know runs a resort on the island and would be the best person to tell you more about it. He can be reached at sabas@singnet.com.sg. His name is Tony Sabas. Write again to me if you need more details i.e. phone blah blah blah

Angel"

 

************************************************************************

 

From      :    Max
To        :    Baby Dave and Everyone

Cc        :

Time      :    1.45 am

Message   :    Jedi Council

"Ride on ,Dave!

 

Me,Letterman..nahh! You're right,I guess all this tuff-talk over the net was a waste of my time.. hey,I forgot to degrease & wax my chain. How can I neglect my Hungarian beauty (MISSY LOADSTAR)..dats her name...ahem! Back to the ways of the FORCE.

 

Dont worry my fellow JEDI. You are included in the council & will keep you posted of the coming event..'Dont give in to hate,fear and aggression. It will lead you,to the Dark side.'

May the Force Be with You!!!!  ..... not the power of the SWARTZ (from Spaceballs)"

 

************************************************************************

 

Subject : Listen to the Young Jedi

 

From      :    Max
To        :    Baby Dave and Everyone

Cc        :

Time      :    8.35 pm

Message   :    Listen to the Young Jedi

 

"Hey Bouls &  Ghouls,

My young Jedi apprentice, Dave tells me to chill & stay loose in the ways of the FORCE. I recieved his vision late last night after the council meeting on planet PANAPAGOPOULOS. To hear these words from a Jedi whose barely 20 earth yrs old,makes me ponder. So....'STOP THIS BICKERING @ ONCE'.................adventures, you JEDI's seek...hurghhh!?!? (got this one from Master YODA).Lets use ours light Sabers for better purpose & ride our speeder bike on the 5th moon of the  planet Bukit Timah...till then,'CONTROL,YOU MUST CONTROL!!!!!'

Max-rebo & the Mos Eisely band"

 

************************************************************************

 

From           :         Roh

To               :         Everyone
cc.               :

Time            :         12:12 PM

Message              :         Listen to the Young Jedi        

 

"Oi,

I trust you fellas received the e-mail from Daniel about his non-participation in the Grand Premiere plans. Loser. :-) (no offence, Daniel, but if you noticed, I put an emoticon at the
end, so its okay.)

 

 

 

                  

                                     

Is someone (Max!) else (Max!) on the case, or should I (Max!) make enquiries? Maybe Max (Max!) should do it?

And BTW, Max, I see you're back on the Ice Wax. I hear its pretty good intravenously too."

 

************************************************************************

 

From          :        Daniel

To             :        Roh and Everyone
Time            :        Very Late in the Night
cc.              :

Message       :        Listen to the Young Jedi


"you bas*ard, fuarker, i take GREAT OFFENCE at that, get your light saber up dude, its fencing... ;)

.. and i bet my swartz is as big as yours, Redeye knight.

Darft Invader"

 

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the

END

or is it?

 

No wording h@s been tweaked in any m@nner wh@tsoever…

s@ve for electronic m@il timing in@ccur@cies and cc lists